FOREWORD- Strange is the power of a toddler. Cute and cuddly as they are, they can also be demonising as Beelzebub. If you watched the 80's horror flick "Gremlins", you will know what I am talking about. Adults, when dealing with them are never sure what to expect. They like something one moment and the next time they throw it away. So Daddy decided to interview 2-year old toddler Elliot and see what light he could shed on this subject. Here is a small excerpt. (True incidents are marked in BLUE)
D. Hi Elliot, thank you for taking the time to chat with me?
E. Hi Daddy...where's my milk ?
D. Well, I told you it is in the microwave. Lets start.
E. Sure..let's get on with it. It is almost my cereal time.
D. So tell me what make you so special being a toddler
E. Well for starters, we babies get bored of the Goo-gaa days and decide no sooner we learn to walk it is time to move to the next level. Our baby looks and habits (standard with all babies, even though some parents disagree), have got the attention of half, if not, the entire neighborhood and all family members, Grandparents are eating out of our tiny little hands. See how cute they are ? (gives me that cute smile) Where's my milk ???..
D. Should be done. One sec, let me get it for you
E. Hurry !
D. Coming as soon as possible. Here we are.
E. Gulp !
D. I see your appeal as a Toddler has increased two fold.
E. Two-fold?...NO, it is now beyond Oscar status ! People drool at our mere presence. A small wave from us, melts hearts. We are Celebrity all the way and no Papparazzi ...I mean how cool is that. Even Tom Cruise cannot get that privacy. At the park I spoke to my other babes in strollers and they said that they are already working the system
D. You have a system ? What system ?
E. Oh simple (takes another sip from his bottle...Glurg!) We smile and you bring us what we want.
D. Oh, that's not true.
E. Well who brought me the milk.
D. Yeah OK you win that little one. But do not be fooled by these little victories.
E. Sure, you are right in some regards. But it is mostly the stuff we do not really care for. But if it is something we really want, like a chocolate or another babies toy, we can create one helluva ruckus.
D. Yes, I have seen that happen. But I have never experienced that with you.
E. So mum and you have not spoken about my latest "grab n no share' cookie of another baby.
D. What???
E. Never mind, it was a minor incident. The cookie never made it to my tummy. Mum was quick to give it back. I spoke to the baby too, and she said she would do the same if the cookie was with me. It is a mutual understanding. But we have to make it look real. The crying from the "lost cookie girl" got the adults apologizing to each other. Hey, we help adults communicate. Mum was not too happy though as we returned from the park earlier that evening.
D. Hmmm..I see. Well, what about diaper changes ?
E. Our favorite subject is Poo and Pee..we not only love doing it, we love playing in it, when no ones watching. Recently, met a fellow toddler at the store who told me that when his parents were not paying his diaper change any attention, he took his pooh and spread it on the walls. When confronted, he simply said, "Painting like Dada". Mama went "Aww" and all was forgotten.
D. That's awful ! I know I have stopped you from playing a few times. But I heard mum missed you for a moment and you made a mess in the bedroom. Poor thing, she had to clean up the mess you created the last time.
E. We like to challenge adults all the time. You think you are big so that you can control us with your mind games. But we have mind games of our own. Ever notice how we Poo and Pee near or during your meal-times or other periods of relaxation? Its all coordinated to keep you on your feet, get you frustrated and bow to our every need. (raises and looks at his milk bottle, now almost empty) Can I have my cereal now ?
D. No lets continue this conver...HEY ELLIOT...DO NOT THROW THAT MILK ON THE CARPET !! Come on, let's get that cereal. We can continue later.
E. Told you, we were Good !
D. Hi Elliot, thank you for taking the time to chat with me?
E. Hi Daddy...where's my milk ?
D. Well, I told you it is in the microwave. Lets start.
E. Sure..let's get on with it. It is almost my cereal time.
D. So tell me what make you so special being a toddler
E. Well for starters, we babies get bored of the Goo-gaa days and decide no sooner we learn to walk it is time to move to the next level. Our baby looks and habits (standard with all babies, even though some parents disagree), have got the attention of half, if not, the entire neighborhood and all family members, Grandparents are eating out of our tiny little hands. See how cute they are ? (gives me that cute smile) Where's my milk ???..
D. Should be done. One sec, let me get it for you
E. Hurry !
D. Coming as soon as possible. Here we are.
E. Gulp !
D. I see your appeal as a Toddler has increased two fold.
E. Two-fold?...NO, it is now beyond Oscar status ! People drool at our mere presence. A small wave from us, melts hearts. We are Celebrity all the way and no Papparazzi ...I mean how cool is that. Even Tom Cruise cannot get that privacy. At the park I spoke to my other babes in strollers and they said that they are already working the system
D. You have a system ? What system ?
E. Oh simple (takes another sip from his bottle...Glurg!) We smile and you bring us what we want.
D. Oh, that's not true.
E. Well who brought me the milk.
D. Yeah OK you win that little one. But do not be fooled by these little victories.
E. Sure, you are right in some regards. But it is mostly the stuff we do not really care for. But if it is something we really want, like a chocolate or another babies toy, we can create one helluva ruckus.
D. Yes, I have seen that happen. But I have never experienced that with you.
E. So mum and you have not spoken about my latest "grab n no share' cookie of another baby.
D. What???
E. Never mind, it was a minor incident. The cookie never made it to my tummy. Mum was quick to give it back. I spoke to the baby too, and she said she would do the same if the cookie was with me. It is a mutual understanding. But we have to make it look real. The crying from the "lost cookie girl" got the adults apologizing to each other. Hey, we help adults communicate. Mum was not too happy though as we returned from the park earlier that evening.
D. Hmmm..I see. Well, what about diaper changes ?
E. Our favorite subject is Poo and Pee..we not only love doing it, we love playing in it, when no ones watching. Recently, met a fellow toddler at the store who told me that when his parents were not paying his diaper change any attention, he took his pooh and spread it on the walls. When confronted, he simply said, "Painting like Dada". Mama went "Aww" and all was forgotten.
D. That's awful ! I know I have stopped you from playing a few times. But I heard mum missed you for a moment and you made a mess in the bedroom. Poor thing, she had to clean up the mess you created the last time.
E. We like to challenge adults all the time. You think you are big so that you can control us with your mind games. But we have mind games of our own. Ever notice how we Poo and Pee near or during your meal-times or other periods of relaxation? Its all coordinated to keep you on your feet, get you frustrated and bow to our every need. (raises and looks at his milk bottle, now almost empty) Can I have my cereal now ?
D. No lets continue this conver...HEY ELLIOT...DO NOT THROW THAT MILK ON THE CARPET !! Come on, let's get that cereal. We can continue later.
E. Told you, we were Good !
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